Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wit & Wisdom Combo-Pack: The Bean, Volume 9, Sprout Volume 4

Today is a special two-for-one offer, a collection of the ramblings of my kids.  Though not as prolific as they used to be, my kids can sure burst forth with nuggets of wisdom.  Here is a collection from the past year:

(Watching TV)
Me:  She said that woman [they're talking about on the news] is a Republican.
The Bean:  Why did you call her a pelican? (2/12)

Anyone see that new cartoon with Mordecai and Rapey? (6/12)

Upon trying Indian Candy for the first time: It tastes like underwater ham! (5/12)

I wish every quarter was a dollar (6/12)

Muffins are fancier than cupcakes. (6/12)

Is this salad here to make the table look pretty or are we going to have to eat it? (6/12)

Me: What words do you know in Spanish?
The Bean: Agua.  Darth Vader.  (8/12)  ™

Grown ups get to do whatever they want...except for evil things. (10/12)

I saw birds practicing geometry because they were flying in a circle and a square. (11/12)

Do all the other crabs obey the King Crab? (12/12)

Me: Remember the stuff you get with arcade tickets doesn't last forever.
The Bean: Yeah, especially if you squeeze it.  (12/12)

Is it tomorrow today?  (1/12)

Let’s play America's Funniest Videos.  You tickle me until I fall off the bed!  (3/12)

If you see any bad guys let me know because I have a gun.  (2/12)

You might make me smile, but you can’t make me happy. (6/12)

Oh man, I rule this popsicle stick! (6/12)

Sprout: Daddy's job is to go to work ad make money for the family. 
WonderWife™: What's mommy's job?
Sprout: I don't know, be lazy? (9/12)

The Bean's Past Wisdom:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Holiday Edition
Valentine's Day Edition
Volume 7 
Volume 8

Sprout's Past Wisdom:
Volume 1
Volume 2 
Volume 3


Vancetastic said...

Great fun as usual. I have to ask -- does the reference to underwater ham have anything to do with Green Eggs and Ham? I always wondered why the naysayer waits until *after* the ham has been submerged before trying it. Think how much he'd like it if he'd eaten it as it was meant to be eaten.

By the way, I'm sure WonderWife went out and made a huge amount of crafts and other handmade items after Sprout called her lazy.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Vance...Not at all. If you've ever had Indian Candy that's kind of exactly what it tastes like.

FilmFather said...

"Anyone see that new cartoon with Mordecai and Rapey? (6/12)"

I'll never watch Regular Show the same way again.

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OneZenMom said...
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OneZenMom said...

These are always my favorites. As usual, they crack me up! :)