I have sung "Mary Had a Little Lamb" over 1100 times. It's part of a nightly ritual that has been a part of the overwhelming majority of my parenthood.
It was during an intense heat wave four years ago. We had the ideal timing and good fortune to be vacationing in Palm Springs at this time with my parents and my sister and her family. Understandably, the Bean had trouble getting to sleep so we began to sing to him "Mary". This did the trick. Ever since before he goes to be he is sung all four verses of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while one shot of "Scary Spray" is sprayed into each corner of the room.
We have been doing this for 4 years. Every night while tucking in the Bean, I ask him if he'd like his song. I'm waiting for the night that he outgrows it. For that will be both a happy and a melancholy evening.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Worms
Partly out of interest, but mostly out of the desire to not go to either the car museum or the train yard yet again, we took the kids to a Bug Fair last weekend. The Fair was pretty cool, consisting of tables upon tables with terrariums filled with things like this:
We got to do fun things like touch scorpions and hissing cockroaches. WonderWife™ and the Bean bravely ate some bugs sautéed with veggies. (It was not lost on me that I had an easier time getting my son to eat veggies when they were mixed with ants and crickets.) We all had a creepy-crawly good time. And at the end of the day, we left with some new additions to our family.
This is how I came to have worms living in my house.
On one of the tables at the Fair were tubs upon tubs of silkworms in various sizes for sale. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, maybe it was when I took Sprout to the bathroom, but WW™ bought a whole mess of them.
Our silkworm friends, their numbers totaling 25, were brought home and transferred to their new residence, an empty shoebox. The bottom of the box was lined with mulberry leaves, on which the worms were happily and constantly munching. The worms were horrible looking little creatures. They had a sickly white color and cracked skin that always looked on the verge of shedding. And they pooped. A lot. It wasn’t long before the shoebox was littered with tiny black feces pellets that rattled when the box was moved. The kids instantly loved their new pets.
Because we live with two cats, one of them more curious about the insect world than the other, the worms needed safe-harbor where they could be free to eat and shit.
This is how I came to have worms living in my bathroom.
While the worms fascinate most of the members of my family, I find them repugnant. Yet there they are right on the counter, squirming and munching and pooping as I brush my teeth. The only time they come out of the bathroom is when the kids watch TV. They park one of the boxes between them on the couch and pet the worms as if they were one of our cats.
I’ve been secretly hoping that the life of a silkworm is short. And it is...kind of. Soon they will grow fat and spin cocoons, hatching as moths. However, those moths lay eggs, out of which will emerge tiny silkworms and the whole process will start over again.
It seems as if the worms are going to be a part of this family for the foreseeable future.
We got to do fun things like touch scorpions and hissing cockroaches. WonderWife™ and the Bean bravely ate some bugs sautéed with veggies. (It was not lost on me that I had an easier time getting my son to eat veggies when they were mixed with ants and crickets.) We all had a creepy-crawly good time. And at the end of the day, we left with some new additions to our family.
This is how I came to have worms living in my house.
On one of the tables at the Fair were tubs upon tubs of silkworms in various sizes for sale. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, maybe it was when I took Sprout to the bathroom, but WW™ bought a whole mess of them.
Our silkworm friends, their numbers totaling 25, were brought home and transferred to their new residence, an empty shoebox. The bottom of the box was lined with mulberry leaves, on which the worms were happily and constantly munching. The worms were horrible looking little creatures. They had a sickly white color and cracked skin that always looked on the verge of shedding. And they pooped. A lot. It wasn’t long before the shoebox was littered with tiny black feces pellets that rattled when the box was moved. The kids instantly loved their new pets.
Because we live with two cats, one of them more curious about the insect world than the other, the worms needed safe-harbor where they could be free to eat and shit.
This is how I came to have worms living in my bathroom.
While the worms fascinate most of the members of my family, I find them repugnant. Yet there they are right on the counter, squirming and munching and pooping as I brush my teeth. The only time they come out of the bathroom is when the kids watch TV. They park one of the boxes between them on the couch and pet the worms as if they were one of our cats.
I’ve been secretly hoping that the life of a silkworm is short. And it is...kind of. Soon they will grow fat and spin cocoons, hatching as moths. However, those moths lay eggs, out of which will emerge tiny silkworms and the whole process will start over again.
It seems as if the worms are going to be a part of this family for the foreseeable future.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Traditions
If you've noticed it's been rather quiet around here, it's because I'm getting into my busy season again. As a result, I've been doing a lot of traveling. I've realized that there are some very specific things I do when I travel. I call them traditions, but they very well could be a product of neurosis.
Here is a list of things I must do when traveling on a plane:
Always call WonderWife™ before getting on the flight.
Must email a picture of the plane I am about to get on to WW™, so she can show it to the kids. (A picture of me sitting inside the plane is optional, but appreciated.)
Must touch the outside of the plane as I board. (I have no idea of the origin of this or why I do it.)
As soon as possible, open up the airline magazine in the front pocket and check what will be the in flight movie, regardless if I am watching it or not.
Upon approaching landing, count down from 10 trying to time "1" with the wheels touching down. If the count is early, continue to count back up to 10 until the wheels touch down. If sitting next to loved one, such as wife or child, whisper the count to them. Prepare to be mocked by wife if the count is off by more than 1.
Unbuckle seat beat while taxiing to the terminal. Why? I don't need your rules, man!
Here is a list of things I must do when traveling on a plane:
Always call WonderWife™ before getting on the flight.
Must email a picture of the plane I am about to get on to WW™, so she can show it to the kids. (A picture of me sitting inside the plane is optional, but appreciated.)
Must touch the outside of the plane as I board. (I have no idea of the origin of this or why I do it.)
As soon as possible, open up the airline magazine in the front pocket and check what will be the in flight movie, regardless if I am watching it or not.
Upon approaching landing, count down from 10 trying to time "1" with the wheels touching down. If the count is early, continue to count back up to 10 until the wheels touch down. If sitting next to loved one, such as wife or child, whisper the count to them. Prepare to be mocked by wife if the count is off by more than 1.
Unbuckle seat beat while taxiing to the terminal. Why? I don't need your rules, man!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Band Aid Spoilers
Out of all of the band-aids available, Sprout picked Star Wars. Upon seeing the bandage, the Bean too became excited and before we knew it the kids both kids suddenly had a host of mysterious owies that needed to be covered.
My kids have not yet seen Star Wars, though they know that such a thing exists. As the kids were in the other room fetching the box of bandages, I said to WonderWife™, “I wonder if the big surprise of Star Wars will still be a secret by the time the Bean is ready to watch them.”
WonderWife™ cocked her head, gently reminding me of her non-geek nature and therefore her ignorance of what I was referring to.
“You know,” I said, “who Luke’s father really is.”
A few years ago I had a conversation with some colleagues at work who were a decade younger than me, who told me that they grew up always knowing who Darth Vader was in relation to Luke. This is sad, because that moment in Empire is one of the best twists in movie history.
Just then, the Bean noticed that Anikin adorned one of the band-aids.
“Hey it’s Anikin!” he shouted. “He grows up to be Darth Vader!”
WonderWife™ looked at me. “Well, there goes that.”
My kids have not yet seen Star Wars, though they know that such a thing exists. As the kids were in the other room fetching the box of bandages, I said to WonderWife™, “I wonder if the big surprise of Star Wars will still be a secret by the time the Bean is ready to watch them.”
WonderWife™ cocked her head, gently reminding me of her non-geek nature and therefore her ignorance of what I was referring to.
“You know,” I said, “who Luke’s father really is.”
A few years ago I had a conversation with some colleagues at work who were a decade younger than me, who told me that they grew up always knowing who Darth Vader was in relation to Luke. This is sad, because that moment in Empire is one of the best twists in movie history.
Just then, the Bean noticed that Anikin adorned one of the band-aids.
“Hey it’s Anikin!” he shouted. “He grows up to be Darth Vader!”
WonderWife™ looked at me. “Well, there goes that.”
Monday, May 2, 2011
Something Positive About Transformers?
Over the weekend while consuming the summer season’s first cinematic tour de force, I saw the new trailer for the next Transformers movie. It kills me to say this, but the trailer was really good. Maybe it was my overall jovial mood or maybe it was the theater packed with cheering moviegoers that made the difference. Or maybe, just maybe, Transformers 3 might actually be a decent movie? (Gasp!)
Anyone who follows my blogging, or knows me in person, is aware of my utter disdain for the filmmaker behind the Transformers movies, Michael Bay. Despite the fact that the Transformers movies have made gazillions of dollars, they are soulless, inane, disorienting messes. They are all spectacle with no heart, no trace of a coherent story or well drawn characters. Things I consider to be essential ingredients in a movie.
I’ve been ragging on T-Form 3 since it was announced they were doing another one, especially about the fact that it was being shot in 3D. I can’t think of a more vertigo-inducing experience than a Michael Bay in the third dimension. Bay’s knack for using quick cuts and shaky close ups makes his flat movies hard to watch. However, Bay has said that he needed to stop moving his camera so much in order to use 3D. This is encouraging.
But Bay has not yet earned my money.
Bay has also been talking a lot of smack about Transformers 2 lately. (Although it’s easy to come out and say your movie sucks after it’s been universally panned by nearly everyone.) Bay promises that T-Form 3 will be better than T-Form 2. While that’s all well and good, it doesn't fill me with confidence. Just because Revenge of the Sith is better than the other two prequels doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. To Bay, the high bar seems to have been set with the first Transformers movie. For me, that’s not high enough. I don’t just want Transformers 3 to be better than 2. I want it to be better than 1.
Admittedly my interest is piqued by the new T-Form trailer, but beast we forget that the original Transformers movie had a great trailer too—a trailer good enough to get my butt in the seat. And that one didn’t turn out so good.
For the time being, I will temper my feelings about Transformers 3. I believe Michael Bay when he says he’s making a movie better than the last one. But I don’t have hope that he will completely correct course and make a decent movie. I would love to be wrong about this. But I’m going to have to let the public convince me of that first, before I can truly buy into the promise of the trailer.
Anyone who follows my blogging, or knows me in person, is aware of my utter disdain for the filmmaker behind the Transformers movies, Michael Bay. Despite the fact that the Transformers movies have made gazillions of dollars, they are soulless, inane, disorienting messes. They are all spectacle with no heart, no trace of a coherent story or well drawn characters. Things I consider to be essential ingredients in a movie.
I’ve been ragging on T-Form 3 since it was announced they were doing another one, especially about the fact that it was being shot in 3D. I can’t think of a more vertigo-inducing experience than a Michael Bay in the third dimension. Bay’s knack for using quick cuts and shaky close ups makes his flat movies hard to watch. However, Bay has said that he needed to stop moving his camera so much in order to use 3D. This is encouraging.
But Bay has not yet earned my money.
Bay has also been talking a lot of smack about Transformers 2 lately. (Although it’s easy to come out and say your movie sucks after it’s been universally panned by nearly everyone.) Bay promises that T-Form 3 will be better than T-Form 2. While that’s all well and good, it doesn't fill me with confidence. Just because Revenge of the Sith is better than the other two prequels doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. To Bay, the high bar seems to have been set with the first Transformers movie. For me, that’s not high enough. I don’t just want Transformers 3 to be better than 2. I want it to be better than 1.
Admittedly my interest is piqued by the new T-Form trailer, but beast we forget that the original Transformers movie had a great trailer too—a trailer good enough to get my butt in the seat. And that one didn’t turn out so good.
For the time being, I will temper my feelings about Transformers 3. I believe Michael Bay when he says he’s making a movie better than the last one. But I don’t have hope that he will completely correct course and make a decent movie. I would love to be wrong about this. But I’m going to have to let the public convince me of that first, before I can truly buy into the promise of the trailer.
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