Monday, February 7, 2011

Improvement

Although looking at me from the outside it was hard to notice, last year I sort of fell apart. Professionally it was a chaotic time of transition that consumed me. As a result, I lost some of my focus on other things. And while my life is far from being a Lifetime movie of the week, I haven't liked feeling scattered and remote. 

These are normally the kind of thoughts that pop up around the New Year, when resolutions are made. But seeing as we are long past the time when most of these promises have been abandoned, it feels like a safer time to instill some change.


My Health
The first step was joining a gym. However, the more crucial step of the plan is to actually go to said gym. This is the part where I usually have a problem. I have no difficulty putting money down to enter a gym, but I can't stand working out. I believe that there is such a thing as a runner’s high for some people, but I have never been one of them. To me, exercise is neither cathartic nor enjoyable. It’s painful, sweaty, hard work and I am, by nature, a lazy man. But seeing that I’m staring down the barrel of 40 and that I have an appetite for bacon and booze, I need the gym. So far, I’ve gone three times in the week and a half since I joined. It’s a good start, but I’m not celebrating yet.

My Blog
I have lost a bit of my writing mojo, as evidenced by my one post a week schedule here. Like my body, my brain needs exercise too and writing gives me that work out. Unlike the gym, I enjoy writing. I actually thrive on the outlet. But when work got busy, I fell out of the habit of writing regularly. It’s not even writer’s block. I have pages worth of ideas and observations. But lately it’s seemed like effort to get them into post-worthy shape. As much as I care about my readers, the real reason I write this blog is to keep a record of my kids’ lives. So I need to push myself to get over this hill for them.

My Marriage
I need to be a better husband. Though I am not quite sure how to do this. It feels like my and WonderWife's™ role as parents has overtaken our roles as a couple. Things aren't bad between us. But they could be better. I know that if I try, WW™ and I can find ourselves again despite all of the diapers and laundry and floors strewn with toys.

My Kids
While I think I’m a good dad (and hope that my kids agree), I want to be better. I need to be more patient. I need to be more present. I want to make sure that the time I spend with them is quality. I want to be more creative and more fun with them. I want to give them everything they need, and more.


There. I’ve laid it all out for the world to read. Now it’s up to me to be accountable. Right now I feel energized. This is attainable. It’s just going to require a little work.

11 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

It's easy for the role of parent to overrule the role of spouse: kids need, kids demand, kids are kids; adults "understand". Sometimes, we depend on that understanding too much.

You're not the only one who feels this way.

Vancetastic said...

The mere fact of showing an interest in improvement probably means you need less improvement than most people I know.

My word verification is "horth." Thought that was worth sharing.

Surfer Jay said...

Yeah dude, I had noticed you were begginning to acquire some moobs. You need to get right on that.

When my second baby was born 11 months ago, I unplugged the xbox......I know I know. So regardless to say that I have been going through serious Halo withdrawels this year, my arms have been withering away due to a lack of rapid xbox controller manipulation. I have been doing sets of pushups at night as I work on my comp....hey, it works long as I keep it up.

ChopperPapa said...

You are on the right track in two areas

(1) you realize where your shortfalls are

(2) you want to do something about them.

You're ahead of 95% of the population in those regards. I learned a very valuable lesson from my x-parent in laws (though it didn't work for my marriage to their daughter). One day your kids will grow up and leave you and then it'll be just you and your wife. Always remember that and put her first in the family. I will always remember that and hope that I can implement it in my next marriage (if and when that happens)

Daddy Geek Boy said...

SciFi...Sadly, I'm guessing there are a lot of parents in the same situation.

Vance...Thanks man. I got excited by the word verification thinking it was "Hoth", which would be awesomely geeky of Blogger.

Jay...I thought I could hide my moobs with my manziere. Guess I was wrong.

Chopper...Thanks man!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Good for you. I want the same goals for myself, but I need the energizing that you seem to have found. Rooting for you.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

James...The easy part is to say what you want to do, the hard part is doing it. Hopefully I can manage some degree of change.

OneZenMom said...

I've started and deleted several comments. Everything I type sounds trite.

So, I'm just going to say that I'm excited for your current energy and drive and I'm wishing you all the best in all of these goals.

There, it still sounds trite, but I promise that it's heartfelt. :)

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Zen...Not trite at all. A sincere thank you.

blogmamaandrea said...

I completely relate to this which is probably why it's taken me ten days to finally discover you wrote it. I look at my reader and see over 850 feeds and just give up. I'd rather mess around with my blog move it here then there than actually write on it sometimes.

I've taken a pass from lots of things in the pass six months since my own never ending fall. My husband and I separated this summer and I pretty much abandoned any energy I had left for writing or reading blogs. I was just busy trying not to lose it every five minutes.

Thankfully life is decidedly good again (amen) and I hope to get back on the regular writing and reading track in the blogsphere.

I hope you can keep up with the gym. I bought some really nice running shoes...now i just need to run. As for you and WW, find something you used to enjoy doing together before the kids and see if you might be able to do it again.

Good luck.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Andrea...I've thinned out my blog roll quite a bit. I am trying to focus on reading a few handfuls of them that I really like. But my main goal is to keep writing more.

Good luck to you too.