My son has been swearing a lot lately. Well kind of. Thankfully he doesn’t know any real curse words (a minor miracle considering my wife’s trenchant mouth), so he tends to make them up.
The following is a list of swears the Bean uttered over one 24 hour period:
You nutter!
You bubbuh!
You Bubee!
Bo bo head!
Pooter!
Automint!
You codbuddy!
You buddah!
You beedeh!
You nint!
Funnah!
Oh pony bide!
Hey, I love you!*
*I know it doesn’t read like a curse, but trust me the tone in which it was said was definitely swearing.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Head Banger
Sprout had a slight fever, so WonderWife™ took the Bean and left me alone with the patient. Although physically sick, Sprout was acting pretty normal, which meant that she couldn’t sit still and wanted a new activity approximately every 4 ½ minutes. The only time she would settle was to watch a little TV. So there she sat passively on my lap while I spaced out.
Sometimes I feel like a hummingbird in that if I don’t stop moving, I shut down. If I lay dormant on the couch in front of the TV, there’s a good chance that I’ll be asleep in 10 minutes. So when it comes to parenting, I’m much better on the go than hanging around the house. But there are often days where we don’t venture outside the confines of our home. On days like that I become sluggish. There have been times when the Bean has wanted me to hang out in his room, so I’ll lie down on his bed. Next thing I know he’s standing over me with a quizzical look, wondering why my snoring has interrupted his play.
The two of us nestled on the couch, the mind-numbing pictures from the pre-school show washed over me as Sprout remained transfixed. Next thing I knew I heard a loud “bang”. My head snapped forward, trying to find out the cause of the noise. It took me a few seconds to realize that the bang had come from my head as it hit the wall behind the couch. I had nodded off. The snap forward was the result of the noise of the impact waking me up.
This happened two more times before I finally got off of the couch and walked around to wake up. Oddly, Sprout didn’t seem to notice that it happened at all.
Sometimes I feel like a hummingbird in that if I don’t stop moving, I shut down. If I lay dormant on the couch in front of the TV, there’s a good chance that I’ll be asleep in 10 minutes. So when it comes to parenting, I’m much better on the go than hanging around the house. But there are often days where we don’t venture outside the confines of our home. On days like that I become sluggish. There have been times when the Bean has wanted me to hang out in his room, so I’ll lie down on his bed. Next thing I know he’s standing over me with a quizzical look, wondering why my snoring has interrupted his play.
The two of us nestled on the couch, the mind-numbing pictures from the pre-school show washed over me as Sprout remained transfixed. Next thing I knew I heard a loud “bang”. My head snapped forward, trying to find out the cause of the noise. It took me a few seconds to realize that the bang had come from my head as it hit the wall behind the couch. I had nodded off. The snap forward was the result of the noise of the impact waking me up.
This happened two more times before I finally got off of the couch and walked around to wake up. Oddly, Sprout didn’t seem to notice that it happened at all.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Bacon Truck
I couldn’t believe it took as long as it did for it to exist. You would have thought it was already here. But it wasn’t. Now with the food truck craze in full swing, some genius finally decided to create a bacon truck.
For the uninitiated let me elaborate, there is a fantastic gourmet food truck revolution currently happening that rivals any kind of movement the Tea Partiers could dream up. These specialized roach coaches (although that moniker really does them a great disservice) drive around cities, serving up high quality food. Many of them are concept driven, which is why in LA we have the Grilled Cheese Truck, the breakfast truck, ice cream sandwich truck, Korean BBQ taco truck, cheesesteaks… You get the idea.
Not only is the food from these trucks really good, but there is an extra element of fun in the experience due to the hunt. These are mobile restaurants, which means you have to work for your grub by catching them. The trucks drive around the city, posting their locations via Twitter. They don’t have a regular schedule, so they could pretty much be anywhere at any time. Since I don’t have the luxury of being able to chase down these trucks, my only bet to eat at them is if they orbit close to my home or office. Like the way that every once in a while you win in Vegas, I’ve been lucky a few times able to unexpectedly score some Korean tacos on my way home from work.
A few days ago, I heard the most amazing news—a new truck, the bacon truck. It’s a brilliant idea and of course I was automatically intrigued. The truck, calling itself Lardon, hadn’t even officially opened yet. They were in their “soft open” phase and had only been making one stop a day to work out the kinks before their big launch. I decided to make it my mission to eat from the bacon truck.
The gods of pork were smiling on me because two days after hearing about the truck, I learned they would be close to my place of business. I jetted through the office halls and accosted a few colleagues that I knew might be interested in such an adventure. With my car loaded up, we took to the streets. Considering that I had talked others into spending their lunch hour tracking down a truck filled with bacon, I began worrying that it might not be there like some cruel practical joke. But my fears were rapidly allayed because there was the truck sitting quietly around a corner with no line to stand in the way of us and our bacon.
As promised, everything on the menu revolves around bacon—from the BLT to the desserts. They also serve breakfast all day. Unfortunately, they were out of the chicken wings coated in bacon hot sauce with a side of bacon bleu cheese dressing, so I settled on a French toast brioche sandwich with bacon crumbles and bourbon bacon syrup. My companions went for their fancy BLT and their simple, but awesome bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. But my favorite thing about their menu has to be the Bacone. It’s a paper cone filled with four strips of various kinds of bacon that change periodically. That day, they were serving peppered bacon, maple bacon and bacon from a wild boar (which was meat, a little gamey and totally delicious). I mentioned dessert right? Try a browning topped with Nutella and bacon. (Salty and sweet was great even before sliced bread.)
My co-workers and I all felt a bit sluggish that afternoon, but we agreed that it was worth it. The bacon truck is not a place you’d want to eat at every day. But I’m glad that the fates brought us together so that I, fan of bacony goodness, could be amongst their first customers. I’m totally going to hunt them down again to get my bac-on.*
*That’s right, I just wrote that. I’m not apologizing for it either.
For the uninitiated let me elaborate, there is a fantastic gourmet food truck revolution currently happening that rivals any kind of movement the Tea Partiers could dream up. These specialized roach coaches (although that moniker really does them a great disservice) drive around cities, serving up high quality food. Many of them are concept driven, which is why in LA we have the Grilled Cheese Truck, the breakfast truck, ice cream sandwich truck, Korean BBQ taco truck, cheesesteaks… You get the idea.
Not only is the food from these trucks really good, but there is an extra element of fun in the experience due to the hunt. These are mobile restaurants, which means you have to work for your grub by catching them. The trucks drive around the city, posting their locations via Twitter. They don’t have a regular schedule, so they could pretty much be anywhere at any time. Since I don’t have the luxury of being able to chase down these trucks, my only bet to eat at them is if they orbit close to my home or office. Like the way that every once in a while you win in Vegas, I’ve been lucky a few times able to unexpectedly score some Korean tacos on my way home from work.
A few days ago, I heard the most amazing news—a new truck, the bacon truck. It’s a brilliant idea and of course I was automatically intrigued. The truck, calling itself Lardon, hadn’t even officially opened yet. They were in their “soft open” phase and had only been making one stop a day to work out the kinks before their big launch. I decided to make it my mission to eat from the bacon truck.
The gods of pork were smiling on me because two days after hearing about the truck, I learned they would be close to my place of business. I jetted through the office halls and accosted a few colleagues that I knew might be interested in such an adventure. With my car loaded up, we took to the streets. Considering that I had talked others into spending their lunch hour tracking down a truck filled with bacon, I began worrying that it might not be there like some cruel practical joke. But my fears were rapidly allayed because there was the truck sitting quietly around a corner with no line to stand in the way of us and our bacon.
As promised, everything on the menu revolves around bacon—from the BLT to the desserts. They also serve breakfast all day. Unfortunately, they were out of the chicken wings coated in bacon hot sauce with a side of bacon bleu cheese dressing, so I settled on a French toast brioche sandwich with bacon crumbles and bourbon bacon syrup. My companions went for their fancy BLT and their simple, but awesome bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. But my favorite thing about their menu has to be the Bacone. It’s a paper cone filled with four strips of various kinds of bacon that change periodically. That day, they were serving peppered bacon, maple bacon and bacon from a wild boar (which was meat, a little gamey and totally delicious). I mentioned dessert right? Try a browning topped with Nutella and bacon. (Salty and sweet was great even before sliced bread.)
My co-workers and I all felt a bit sluggish that afternoon, but we agreed that it was worth it. The bacon truck is not a place you’d want to eat at every day. But I’m glad that the fates brought us together so that I, fan of bacony goodness, could be amongst their first customers. I’m totally going to hunt them down again to get my bac-on.*
*That’s right, I just wrote that. I’m not apologizing for it either.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Punch Buggy
I’m not sure when the game began or how, all I know is I was driving the family someplace when I first heard it.
“Punch buggy blue!” shouted the Bean from the backseat.
I gave WonderWife™ a curious look and she replied with an expression that read, “So I didn’t tell you but um, yeah we’re doing this now.”
In the weeks that have passed, we’ve been playing Punch Buggy incessantly, though instead of slugging each other on the arm we simply keep score on each car trip. WonderWife™ has proven to be the most adept at the game, able to spot a Bug across the freeway like a hawk tracking a mouse in the desert.
We’ve all gotten pretty competitive too, even young Sprout. Though because of her age and small stature, she is at somewhat of a disadvantage against the rest of us. Playing the game has also taught me something about my son—he’s a cheat.
He likes to call out phantom Bugs, usually right after WW™ has spotted one—the same color too. Though it's pretty easy to tell when he's lying.
“Where?” I challenge after he conveniently spots a Bug that nobody else has seen.
“On the other side of the street, going backwards really fast.”
“I’m going to have to call ‘shenanigans’ on that one, buddy.”
I find myself calling “shenanigans” a lot when I play with the Bean.
My problem lately is that I can’t stop playing the game, even when I’m alone. I notice every single VW Bug on the road and sometimes even call them out. There are a lot of Bugs on the road.
I don’t know when the kids' fervor for playing the game will subside. Even if we try to stop, the Bean continues to call out every punch buggy he sees. So in order to keep him on his toes every once in a while I send him a message, just to let him know that I’m still playing too:
“Punch buggy blue!” shouted the Bean from the backseat.
I gave WonderWife™ a curious look and she replied with an expression that read, “So I didn’t tell you but um, yeah we’re doing this now.”
In the weeks that have passed, we’ve been playing Punch Buggy incessantly, though instead of slugging each other on the arm we simply keep score on each car trip. WonderWife™ has proven to be the most adept at the game, able to spot a Bug across the freeway like a hawk tracking a mouse in the desert.
We’ve all gotten pretty competitive too, even young Sprout. Though because of her age and small stature, she is at somewhat of a disadvantage against the rest of us. Playing the game has also taught me something about my son—he’s a cheat.
He likes to call out phantom Bugs, usually right after WW™ has spotted one—the same color too. Though it's pretty easy to tell when he's lying.
“Where?” I challenge after he conveniently spots a Bug that nobody else has seen.
“On the other side of the street, going backwards really fast.”
“I’m going to have to call ‘shenanigans’ on that one, buddy.”
I find myself calling “shenanigans” a lot when I play with the Bean.
My problem lately is that I can’t stop playing the game, even when I’m alone. I notice every single VW Bug on the road and sometimes even call them out. There are a lot of Bugs on the road.
I don’t know when the kids' fervor for playing the game will subside. Even if we try to stop, the Bean continues to call out every punch buggy he sees. So in order to keep him on his toes every once in a while I send him a message, just to let him know that I’m still playing too:
Monday, September 13, 2010
A Little Adult
The start of school could not have come soon enough. WonderWife™ used up the last of her patience about two weeks ago. The Bean hasn't made it easy on her. Three months of lack of structure have made him difficult at best.
I left my smiling wife and took the Bean to his first day of pre-K. I introduced myself to his teacher, who said, "I'm so happy to have the Bean in my class this year. It's like having a little adult."
I knew exactly what she meant. The Bean has always been a stickler for the rules--at least the rules that other people should be following. He gets really upset when he sees somebody riding a bike without a helmet. This means the Bean often tries to be the third parent in our house, telling Sprout what she can and can't do or how many bites of food she needs to eat before she gets fruit.
A few years ago, he learned saying that you hate somebody or something is bad. So now we can't ever use the word without him saying, "You said 'hate'!" So goes the phrase, "I hate to tell you..." There are times when I'm saying something to Sprout like, "Okay, you need to put on your shirt" and from the other room I hear the Bean shouting, "You said 'hate'!"
It drives WonderWife™ and me a little batty. Although the Bean wants others to respect the rules, he doesn't seem to mind breaking them for his own benefit.
Maybe he's got a future in politics.
I left my smiling wife and took the Bean to his first day of pre-K. I introduced myself to his teacher, who said, "I'm so happy to have the Bean in my class this year. It's like having a little adult."
I knew exactly what she meant. The Bean has always been a stickler for the rules--at least the rules that other people should be following. He gets really upset when he sees somebody riding a bike without a helmet. This means the Bean often tries to be the third parent in our house, telling Sprout what she can and can't do or how many bites of food she needs to eat before she gets fruit.
A few years ago, he learned saying that you hate somebody or something is bad. So now we can't ever use the word without him saying, "You said 'hate'!" So goes the phrase, "I hate to tell you..." There are times when I'm saying something to Sprout like, "Okay, you need to put on your shirt" and from the other room I hear the Bean shouting, "You said 'hate'!"
It drives WonderWife™ and me a little batty. Although the Bean wants others to respect the rules, he doesn't seem to mind breaking them for his own benefit.
Maybe he's got a future in politics.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Moderating Technology and Brats' stuff
I'm over at Real World today where I respond to a challenge issued by the site's creator. Earlier this summer, she dared me to write a post about moderating technology in one's life. Did I rise to the challenge? See for yourself here.
Also, have you been over at Culture Brats lately? If not you're missing one of the fastest growing pop culture blogs on the interwebs. Today we rank the top 80's slang.
Also, have you been over at Culture Brats lately? If not you're missing one of the fastest growing pop culture blogs on the interwebs. Today we rank the top 80's slang.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
You Spin Me Round
The Bean wasn’t the only one who made great amusement park strides during our two day sojourn in the land of Legos. Sprout had a pretty good time herself.
For all of her stubborn bravado, Sprout is can be actually a timid kid. Within 30 seconds of her first ride during her first trip to an amusement park (Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland) she buried her head in WonderWife’s™ shoulder and continuously asked when it was going to be over. (That ride is 11 minutes long, by the way.) After that Sprout was wary of rides. Even the notoriously tame It’s a Small World upset her at first.
While I was off showing the Bean the ways of the coaster, WonderWife™ was left with Sprout and managed to coax her onto a few things. Thankfully, Legoland is a park built for small kids and there are plenty of low-impact rides. Sprout quickly developed an affinity for plane-type rides that went up in the air. WW™ was happy that Sprout was having a great time, but in the immortal words of the Barenaked Ladies, she does not like those spinny rides. So after their third go round on the one with the airplanes that went in a circle, WonderWife™ had to put a temporary stop to Sprout’s fun. Feeling brave, we took her on Legoland’s only dark ride—dark being a relative term in this case. (A more accurate way of putting it would be that it’s Legoland’s only ride that’s under a roof.) Like a champion, Sprout smiled her way through the experience.
It’s too early to tell if Sprout is going to be a thrill-seeker like her big brother, but based on this trip she’s certainly moving in the right direction.
I promise to be patient with this one.
For all of her stubborn bravado, Sprout is can be actually a timid kid. Within 30 seconds of her first ride during her first trip to an amusement park (Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland) she buried her head in WonderWife’s™ shoulder and continuously asked when it was going to be over. (That ride is 11 minutes long, by the way.) After that Sprout was wary of rides. Even the notoriously tame It’s a Small World upset her at first.
While I was off showing the Bean the ways of the coaster, WonderWife™ was left with Sprout and managed to coax her onto a few things. Thankfully, Legoland is a park built for small kids and there are plenty of low-impact rides. Sprout quickly developed an affinity for plane-type rides that went up in the air. WW™ was happy that Sprout was having a great time, but in the immortal words of the Barenaked Ladies, she does not like those spinny rides. So after their third go round on the one with the airplanes that went in a circle, WonderWife™ had to put a temporary stop to Sprout’s fun. Feeling brave, we took her on Legoland’s only dark ride—dark being a relative term in this case. (A more accurate way of putting it would be that it’s Legoland’s only ride that’s under a roof.) Like a champion, Sprout smiled her way through the experience.
It’s too early to tell if Sprout is going to be a thrill-seeker like her big brother, but based on this trip she’s certainly moving in the right direction.
I promise to be patient with this one.
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