My kids can be funny, even when they don’t mean to be. Too often, WonderWife™ and I find ourselves struggling not to laugh at inappropriate times, like when the kids do something naughty. It’s like a scene from SNL where you can tell they’re trying really hard not to break.
The other night at dinner, I’m giving the Bean a heartfelt lecture not to tilt back in his chair, where a glass door and hard tile floor await his much softer head. I’m in the middle of explaining to him that I’m not saying this to be mean, but for his own safety when he looks me in the eye. I think I'm actually getting to him when he says, “Your ear looks like a mushroom.”
There is a snort from the other side of the table. I glance over to see WW™ tearing up, struggling to keep her laughter inside. That didn't last long. She couldn't contain herself and began chortling uncontrollably.
The Bean, seeing that he had now had an audience, repeated the line a few more times. Any semblance of my parenting was gone.
“Thanks,” I said to her. She continued to laugh.
Man...totally undercut by my wife, who couldn’t keep her shit together.