Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Wit and Wisdom of the Bean: Volume 4

The Bean: "Daddy, are you going to teach Sprout to push down her penis when she sits on the potty too?"
Me: "Sprout doesn’t have a penis, she’s a girl. She has a vagina."
The Bean: "Well, are you going to teach her to push down her fragina?”

“Sneezing before bed is fun!”

The Bean: “Who is that?”
Me: “That’s Iron Man.”
The Bean: “Does he like to iron?”

“I never want to sit on top of a cactus.”

"Dr. Seuss is the cat in the hat and he has three points on his ribbon so that's how we know."

The Bean: "Mom, can people eat when they have a baby in their tummy?"
WonderWife™: "Yup. They have to so that they can give their body and the baby's body energy. Why?"
The Bean: "Well the food will go in their mouth and go down, down, down, plop [plops hand on head] and land on the baby's keppie."

“Mom bought me a dirty book.” (The book was called I’m Dirty)

Me: “What rhymes with orange?”
The Bean: “Borange.”

Me: “Don’t eat too much. You have to listen to your tummy.”
The Bean: “But I don’t speak tummy.”

Me: "You're getting to be such a big boy."
The Bean: "Yeah, my penis is growing!"

"We’re not going to the Zoo, we’re going to the Natural History Museum. It’s like the zoo, except there’s more dinosaurs."

Past Wit:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3

16 comments:

Andrea -The Blogging Mama said...

Love the dirty book. Just wait till he tells his friends at school that one.

handstowar said...

Hilarious. Where's Bill Cosby when you need him!

(Bill Cosby had a show called "Kid's Say The Darnest Things"... didn't know if you knew that. What I said wouldn't have made any sense if you didn't know that. Okay... I'll shut up now.)

ZenMom said...

I love these, as always. :)

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Andrea...I'm sure he already has.

Hands...I actually wrote about Cosby in the opening of the first version of this post.

Zen...Yeah, these are kind of my fave too.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

THose are just awesome! LOL I loved the penis vagina one... I'm immature like that... totally made me giggle.

FilmFather said...

Those. Were. Hilarious.

Dash asked us a doozy question over dinner the other night, as we talked about ice cream men and their different names:

"If there's a Mister Softee, is there a Mr. Hard?"

Your escalator operator said...

the BEAN!! I love these.

SciFi Dad said...

I foresee a big future in standup for your little man, and not the Pauly Shore kind either.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Shelle...just imagine how I felt when he said it to me.

FilmFather...Pure awesome!

YEO...Thanks!

SciFi...Dane Cook maybe?

Surfer Jay said...

Instant classics.

Keith Wilcox said...

Borange! HAHAHAHA. I'm going to have to remember that. Want an orange joke to tell him?

Q: Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

A: He couldn't concentrate!

James (SeattleDad) said...

That Iron Man was a classic.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Jay...Yeah, you can't make this stuff up.

Keith...Use it well.

James...That may be one of my favorite things he's ever said.

Vancetastic said...

I had never heard the word "keppie" before.

(I liked the post too but I can't think of anything else to add that hasn't already been said.)

Word verification: Thotchas.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Vance...We gotta get you up to speed with your Yiddish!

Terry said...

Fantastic!