The Bean: "Daddy, are you going to teach Sprout to push down her penis when she sits on the potty too?"
Me: "Sprout doesn’t have a penis, she’s a girl. She has a vagina."
The Bean: "Well, are you going to teach her to push down her fragina?”
“Sneezing before bed is fun!”
The Bean: “Who is that?”
Me: “That’s Iron Man.”
The Bean: “Does he like to iron?”
“I never want to sit on top of a cactus.”
"Dr. Seuss is the cat in the hat and he has three points on his ribbon so that's how we know."
The Bean: "Mom, can people eat when they have a baby in their tummy?"
WonderWife™: "Yup. They have to so that they can give their body and the baby's body energy. Why?"
The Bean: "Well the food will go in their mouth and go down, down, down, plop [plops hand on head] and land on the baby's keppie."
“Mom bought me a dirty book.” (The book was called I’m Dirty)
Me: “What rhymes with orange?”
The Bean: “Borange.”
Me: “Don’t eat too much. You have to listen to your tummy.”
The Bean: “But I don’t speak tummy.”
Me: "You're getting to be such a big boy."
The Bean: "Yeah, my penis is growing!"
"We’re not going to the Zoo, we’re going to the Natural History Museum. It’s like the zoo, except there’s more dinosaurs."