I am tired all of the time. It doesn't take a sciencetician to figure out why. I work. A lot. I sleep. But not enough. I eat. Not always healthy. After 4 ever day, I'm constantly yawning. I'm lethargic when we hang around the house on weekends. I want to crash, but there are always things to do. My job gives me homework. When the kids nap, it's work time. If I nap when they are awake, I'm making WonderWife™ "work" as she needs to take care of the kids. That's unfair. She works longer and harder than I do. But trudging around the house like a Romero zombie isn't doing anyone any good. I'm not engaged. I'm not being a good dad.
It doesn't help that the Bean has yet to really learn how to play with others. When he asks me to play, he's really asking me to sit beside him while he pushes his cars around. It can be boring sometimes. The other day, I lay on his bed while he played. It wasn't long before I passed out. I'm fairly confident that I was snoring because I woke up to find the Bean staring at me, with a look that asked why I was disturbing his play time by sawing logs. I responded by putting my head back down and going back to sleep.
The solutions are right in front of me. Working out is a simple one. But honestly, I don't know where to find the time. Eating right demands will power that I am having trouble finding. I could go to sleep earlier, but this cuts into my precious quality time, where for a little while each day I get to write, watch some TV, have a conversation with WW™ or see some friends. There are times when my life feels overstuffed and squeezed, like a sausage in its casing.
I know that I need to make changes. For me. For my family. For my sanity. But it's really hard. I'm exhausted.