Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sweep the Leg

At 9pm there was a soft knock on our front door. WonderWife™ asked me who it was. I reminder her that when the knock occurred I had been sitting beside her on the couch, so there was no way for me to know who was behind our opaque wooden door since the laboratory accident I was involved with earlier in the day unfortunately did not give me any super powers.

I answered the door to find a meek woman with a dog standing on my porch. She softly said, "Excuse me sir, there’s a bag and some keys..." and pointed to the trunk of my car parked in the driveway. I peeked out and sure enough, there was my work bag, my iPod and my keys on the back of the car in plain sight to anybody who happened to be strolling past our house. Although I stood there staring at my keys, I instinctively patted my front pocket which confirmed that the keys were not some sort of mirage on the trunk of my car, but a careless mistake made three hours ago. I thanked the woman and brought my stuff inside, grateful that there are in fact decent people in the world.

I turned sheepishly inside to find WW™ with her head cocked to the side, like an inquisitive puppy, still wondering who had been at the door. Turning around with my bag and keys in my hands, I was forced to explain what I had done.

The worst part about this story is that it totally diffuses the power of one of the great stories I had over WW™. When she was pregnant, she was notorious for leaving her keys dangling from the lock on the trunk of her car. One time she left them out there all night, only to discover them when she went searching the next morning. I did what any good husband would do in a situation like that and mercilessly teased her about it. Until this very moment.

Now I have no leg to stand on.

12 comments:

ZenMom said...

Lucky you have such a nice neighbor (or passerby)!

I have sooo done those things. ESPECIALLY when I was pregnant and right after the kids were born - Attack of the Mommy-Brain. I used to joke that the baby was sucking my brains out along with his breakfast.

Guess you don't get to use that excuse. :)

Evie_Edlund said...

My husband did that once... in the pouring rain.

Also, he used to give me quite a bit of hell about my tendency to occasionally loose track of my keys/wallet/glasses (it's happened I think 3 times in 12 years). Then my keys went missing and we spent a week looking for them. It had been almost 5 years since my last mishap, so I was upset that my "system" of keeping the three items together in a basket was no longer working.

Finally, we went out to have them replaced. When we got home, he pulled a pair of his dress pants out of the closet to be washed and ... lo and behold, my keys were in HIS pocket.

So you better bloody believe he's never going to say boo to me again about loosing keys.

Homer and Queen said...

You're getting old...get used to it.

BIO: Being Inward Outward said...

Very nice. Classy. You ought to learn from what happened. I did the same thing with a neighbor of mine. She left her door keys on her door outside.

Fine Life Folk said...

Decent people deserve your love. The next time you see that person, send out a hug.

James (SeattleDad) said...

I am doing that stuff all the time anymore. Are you over 40 too? lol.

Wonder Wife said...

I especially liked the part when I was pregnant and HE put the ice cream in the PANTRY rather than the freezer. Oh. He didn't mention that? Forgive me for bringing it up then.

ZenMom said...

BTW, you might be showing your age just a bit there in more ways than one, Cobra Kai.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

ZenMom...While I don't wish for another pregnancy, especially if it were ME, I do wish I had a scapegoat.

Evie...I thought I lost a jacket, which was actually still inside of a suitcase for about a year.

Homer...Thanks a lot!

BIO...This is so unlike me, which is why it sucks that it happened.

FineLife...I totally would, but I haven't seen her again.

James...I'm not, I'm just stupid.

WW™...Very funny. Quick, where are your keys RIGHT NOW??

Zen...Right back atcha, Danielson.

Vancetastic said...

One of these times I will get to your blog early enough to make an original comment.

Lady Mama said...

Love the first paragraph. Very funny. Ah the sweet vindication of having the same thing happen to you that you've been teasing your wife about. Funnily I did the exact same thing when I was pregnant. Must be a baby-brain thing.

SAHD DAD said...

The trick to teasing your wife effectively is to pick something which can't happen to you. My personal favorite is to tease her that she should send her handbag to Dr. Hawking at Cambridge because with all the times that she's lost her glasses, wallet, keys, etc. there's clearly a black hole hiding in there.
See? Simple.

My SAHD Life