At 9pm there was a soft knock on our front door. WonderWife™ asked me who it was. I reminder her that when the knock occurred I had been sitting beside her on the couch, so there was no way for me to know who was behind our opaque wooden door since the laboratory accident I was involved with earlier in the day unfortunately did not give me any super powers.
I answered the door to find a meek woman with a dog standing on my porch. She softly said, "Excuse me sir, there’s a bag and some keys..." and pointed to the trunk of my car parked in the driveway. I peeked out and sure enough, there was my work bag, my iPod and my keys on the back of the car in plain sight to anybody who happened to be strolling past our house. Although I stood there staring at my keys, I instinctively patted my front pocket which confirmed that the keys were not some sort of mirage on the trunk of my car, but a careless mistake made three hours ago. I thanked the woman and brought my stuff inside, grateful that there are in fact decent people in the world.
I turned sheepishly inside to find WW™ with her head cocked to the side, like an inquisitive puppy, still wondering who had been at the door. Turning around with my bag and keys in my hands, I was forced to explain what I had done.
The worst part about this story is that it totally diffuses the power of one of the great stories I had over WW™. When she was pregnant, she was notorious for leaving her keys dangling from the lock on the trunk of her car. One time she left them out there all night, only to discover them when she went searching the next morning. I did what any good husband would do in a situation like that and mercilessly teased her about it. Until this very moment.
Now I have no leg to stand on.