Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Morphing Into What I Feared Most

I couldn't be more excited to present my first ever guest post, written by none other than WonderWife™ herself. You've come to know her through me, so I wanted to give her a chance to speak for herself. I'm thrilled she took me up on it. Please enjoy...I think that you will.


It’s been well documented that not only am I a self-proclaimed “not geek,” but that I have a great disdain for most things geek, including but not limited to: Comic-Con, gadgets, anything Sci-Fi, video games, and most pop culture. Unless you’re the 20-something bachelors of The Big Bang Theory (No, I do not watch it. But DGB does. Of course.), then there is simply not enough space in any one abode for more than a single geek. The place would be overwrought with gizmos, not to mention the cacophony of gadgets, each with their own beeps, whirls, and various other annoying sounds. I imagine that the noise would cause some sort of aneurysm and I would die a slow death as I bled from my ears.


It was this past week that I bought a new toy for myself – a hoity-toity sewing machine that I’ve been jonsin’ on for quite a while. Unlike DGB, I did not research the thing to death. I did a quickie web search, found one that had the capabilities I wanted, was a price that I knew to be reasonable, read a few customer reviews, and was satisfied. All in the span of 5 minutes. I assure you, it really is that easy to make a purchase. As I added the machine to my shopping cart, DGB asked if I had read the online reviews on it. The he clarified, “From multiple sites?” I just sighed. I was nearly ready to complete my transaction when all of the sudden DGB yelled, “Wait! Have you bought it yet? No? Go to Pricegrabber. Quickly. Just to make sure you’re getting the best price.”

The man simply cannot help himself. He was practically twitching knowing that I was buying a machine without going to at least 7 different cross-referenced websites. So I did it. For him. I looked at reviews for this model at another website and checked the other online prices. It was 10 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back only to find out that I already had the best price and that the reviews on one site were just as glowing as the reviews on the next. Which is to say, I learned nothing new by cross referencing to death. Vindicated, I finished my transaction.


I typically don’t give instruction manuals much more time than it takes to toss on the floor as I’m tearing the packaging off of whatever it is that I just bought. I might go back to reference it if I have a question, but by and large, instruction manuals are neglected by me. DGB, on the other hand, cracks ‘em open first thing. He’ll leave a new toy alone and forgotten for hours as he meticulously pours though every word of his instruction manual. By the last page, he knows every single function of his new gadget. I might figure out how to do about half that just by tinkering with it, but half of the thousands of functions that most electronics come with these days is plenty of function for me.


Three days later, my new machine arrives. And this puppy is unlike any machine that I’ve ever used. Short of plugging it in, I don’t even know where to start. It’s not like when you give up your old digital camera for a new one and so you pretty much know how to use the new one. This was like receiving a package from Mars. So I sat down, took a deep breath, and opened up the instruction manual. I read. And read. And read. At last I tried sewing with it.


As DGB came into my studio to have a look, I couldn’t help but to exclaim, “Look! Look at this! Look what it does! And here – look at this function. And see this? It can do this, too.”


Always the pragmatist, he asked, “How did you figure all of this out already? You just got it today."


I looked up from my sewing rather sheepishly and admitted that I had read the instruction manual cover to cover. His eyes widened and the beginnings of a smirk appeared at the sides of his mouth. But true to gallant form, he simply nodded and turned to leave. As he reached the door, he turned back, walked over to me and whispered in my ear, "Booyah! You're a geek too."

17 comments:

Danielle said...

Your not supposed to tell him you read the manual. You should have just let him think you are so smart you figured it all out with-out that damn book.
Don't give into his geek madness!!!

Elisha said...

Absolutely hysterical!!! Love the writings of both of you...

ZenMom said...

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated into the geek culture. ;)

This was great! You two are so cute and sweet.

Welcome to blog-land, WonderWife. Be warned: It can be a little addictive.

Also: Big Bang Theory? Funniest. Show. Ever.

Brian Lynch said...

That was beautiful.

Your escalator operator said...

Hope this is the first of a series of WW guest posts!

Also: The instruction manual lives! There is hope.

kiwibttrflyty said...

It's almost like WonderWife is living my life.

Someone should start an online community for the non-geek spouses of geeks.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

HA! K that was cute. And it IS better to read the manuals but there BORING reads ya know???

I love that though... that was so cute and great FIRST post! Look forward to hearing your perspective on things!!!

Sadie said...

Ok the most important question: Which machine did you get?

As another non-geek wife of a geek, I can truly relate and appreciate every part of this post!

Jessy said...

As I am a friend of WW, I have to say this was great! Also though, I really enjoy reading your stuff DGB. I don't know you in real life, but you are very funny on here. Blog on.

WonderWife said...

Thanks to all for the lovely comments. You are one supportive bunch and I'm feelin' the love.

Sadie: I got a Brother 1034D Serger. It's the type of machine that, among other things, encases the raw seams on the inside of your shirts. It's been transformative to say the least. I'm in love.

Vancetastic said...

My leap-before-you-look mentality is on par with yours, except I do it for things like cars and computers. DGB would probably have a heart attack.

For the record, I don't think reading the instruction manual defines a person as geeky. I merely think it means you don't want to break your new toy.

Sadie said...

Wonder-Wife, I'm truly jealous! I also have a Brother - an Inovis 1000, it has a serger function but is NOT a serger. It does have embroidery, though and I super heart love it!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I'm so glad you all liked this post.

Sadie/WW™, I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

SciFi Dad said...

We are all, in our own way, geeks.

You just found your truth out a little late.

Wonder Wife said...

Sadie: I have to say that I'm jealous as well. I'd love to have an embrodery machine, but as I'm moving into making clothing for the website, having a serger is amazing. Why are these toys so expensive?!?!?

Lady Mama said...

Great post and very funny! WonderWife, I too hate instruction manuals, whereas my husband reads them cover to cover. I can see needing to with a sewing machine though - I tried to use a friend's recently and had no clue how to work the thing!

Steph said...

Love the post and am totally in awe of WW's sewing and creative abilities.

I love DBG's blog and love the guest addition.