Monday, March 30, 2009

An Open Letter to Arclight Cinemas

Dear Arclight Cinemas,

I’m just going to come right out and say it. I love you. I love you and I want the world to know.

You’re different than the other movie theaters. You make the experience of going to the movies better. You make it possible for a guy to still be a movie geek, even after he becomes a dad. There were two things that I had always heard about parenting—you get no sleep and you never go to the movies. For me, that last fact would have been a like a slow, crushing death. But you came into my life and made everything okay.

I love that you let me buy my tickets in advance, on line. This alone doesn’t make you special, for there are other theaters that do this too. But your genius is in your assigned seating. This means that I can stroll into the theater 5 minutes before a sold out show on the opening weekend of the summer’s biggest blockbuster and I will still have the perfect seat. I no longer have to spend an hour waiting in line to insure that I’m not going to be craning my neck in the front row. As you know, time is a precious commodity and though my wife has some patience with my geekiness, she would not stand to be a movie widow.

This alone would be reason enough for anyone to love you. But you’re not content to stop there. Inside your immense lobby you have a bar, so if I do have some extra time, I can hoist a cocktail with friends before the flick. I love your 21 plus screenings, where you can bring a drink in with you. Drinking a beer while watching a flick in a movie theater is bliss.

I love that you don’t play commercials and as a rule, only show three trailers before the movie, which is the perfect amount of cinematic foreplay. I love the real butter on your popcorn. I love your sausage baguette sandwiches and your caramel corn. I love your big comfy theater seats with enough room between the aisles for somebody to walk in front of you without having to stand up.

I know this sounds like some sort of commercial, but I assure you that this sentiment comes from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t pimp you out like that. You and I have a special thing going. You are movie-going perfection and it’s because of you that despite the craziness of my world, I can still do one of the things I love with you. Regularly.

Forever yours,
DGB

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And speaking of things that rule...be sure to head on over to Hot Dads today for another installment of "Ask the Hot Dads".

6 comments:

Your escalator operator said...

I'd like to second that. The gift shop is a little unnecessary, but all else: thumbs up.

TentCamper said...

Remind me never to sit in your favorite 'assigned seat' ....I would not want to sit in any of your ....'love juices'. you sound mighty excited and a bit ...close to finishing.

TentCamper said...

love archlight too though!!

SweetPeaSurry said...

I want a theater like this!!!

Lucasb said...

I'm jealuous. We don't have anything that cool here.

ZenMom said...

Oh, I wish we had all that here. *sigh*