The water was flowing from spout to tub. Clothes had been discarded. Teeth brushed. I was just about to plop the Bean into the bath when I turned around and saw him.
“Drop the cat! Drop the cat! Drop the cat NOW!”
The Bean was struggling to lift the cat into the tub. The cat, usually abnormally curious about the bath, was desperately clawing for freedom. It finally squirmed out of the Bean’s arms and fled the bathroom faster than a cheetah on amphetamines. My patience with the Bean's shenanigans had been slowly eroding over the evening. It was lecture time. I knelt down to the Bean’s level and demanded that he look me in the eye. I gave him parent speech #37 about needing to listen.
When I’m done, the Bean looked down sheepishly. He waited two beats, grabbed his penis, defiantly pointed it up at me and said, “Psssssssshhhhhh!”
I was angry, but I gotta say, the kid has excellent timing.