It was the day after the MLK holiday. I was getting Sprout ready for bed.
“We got treated at school today,” Sprout said to me as I helped her pull her pajamas over her head.
“How did you get treated?” I asked.
“We got M&Ms.”
“Why did you get treats at school?”
“The teacher gave all the kids with curly hair M&Ms.”
“And since you have curly hair, you got some. But kids without didn’t get any?”
“No.”
“How do you think they felt about that?”
“Bad. But then the teacher gave them M&Ms too. They were treated.”
“You mean they were treated the same?”
“Yes.”
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Gender Observations
After spending a good portion of the evening piecing together his new Lego Y-Wing Fighter, the Bean was eager to play with me. He quickly fashioned a crude Lego ship for me to pilot and the space battle commenced. Midway through our aerial skirmish, Sprout slid into my lap, new doll in hand, and also wanted to play. While the Bean was busy dive-bombing my ship, Sprout’s doll complimented my Lego guy’s outfit and asked if I wanted to help cook breakfast. I attempted to land my ship at her dollhouse table, but was under heavy fire from the Y-Wing. Unfortunately, Sprout’s dollhouse took some friendly fire and breakfast was never cooked.
I was fortunate enough to be one of two people who attended the marriage of Strawberry Shortcake and Lemon Meringue (aka “Lemon Girl”). The surprisingly short ceremony took place on the floor of Sprout’s room and was officiated by Sprout herself. The dolls walked down the aisle, were complimented on their hair by Sprout and made to give each other a hug and a kiss. Afterwards Strawberry Shortcake made Lemon Girl soup because she was feeling sick.
Over a rare leisurely brunch with some friends, the topic of boys and girls came up. The couple has two girls, but the husband clearly wished he had a boy in his life to balance the scales. As we discussed what life was like with a boy in the house--including, but not limited to: destruction, running around like a 55 lb. wrecking ball, constantly jumping on the furniture (and my back), the ever present very loud noises and screaming, smelly feet, excessive gas… As their girls quietly played with Sprout on the floor, the husband peered at the Bean and looked a little pallid.
The Bean is no longer allowed to play Mario Kart right before bed. He cannot contain himself when he plays, tapping his feet and bouncing on the couch like the Lord of the Dance after a few Red Bulls. The rush of adrenaline causes him to sweat profusely, dampening his just-washed body and clean pajamas and making sleep nearly impossible to attain. We have noticed that this phenomenon is not limited solely to the Bean. While gorging on an afternoon feast of Mario Kart with a friend, both boys were unable to stop squirming while they played.
Upon saying goodbye to his friend, the Bean in a surprisingly effective move swept the boy’s leg like a Cobra Kai and talked him. They continued to flop around on the floor with a ferocity that belied their friendship. The kid’s dad and I just looked at each other and shrugged. Off in the corner, Sprout played with her dolls, either unaffected or decidedly ignoring the rambunctiousness of brother.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I was fortunate enough to be one of two people who attended the marriage of Strawberry Shortcake and Lemon Meringue (aka “Lemon Girl”). The surprisingly short ceremony took place on the floor of Sprout’s room and was officiated by Sprout herself. The dolls walked down the aisle, were complimented on their hair by Sprout and made to give each other a hug and a kiss. Afterwards Strawberry Shortcake made Lemon Girl soup because she was feeling sick.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Over a rare leisurely brunch with some friends, the topic of boys and girls came up. The couple has two girls, but the husband clearly wished he had a boy in his life to balance the scales. As we discussed what life was like with a boy in the house--including, but not limited to: destruction, running around like a 55 lb. wrecking ball, constantly jumping on the furniture (and my back), the ever present very loud noises and screaming, smelly feet, excessive gas… As their girls quietly played with Sprout on the floor, the husband peered at the Bean and looked a little pallid.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The Bean is no longer allowed to play Mario Kart right before bed. He cannot contain himself when he plays, tapping his feet and bouncing on the couch like the Lord of the Dance after a few Red Bulls. The rush of adrenaline causes him to sweat profusely, dampening his just-washed body and clean pajamas and making sleep nearly impossible to attain. We have noticed that this phenomenon is not limited solely to the Bean. While gorging on an afternoon feast of Mario Kart with a friend, both boys were unable to stop squirming while they played.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Upon saying goodbye to his friend, the Bean in a surprisingly effective move swept the boy’s leg like a Cobra Kai and talked him. They continued to flop around on the floor with a ferocity that belied their friendship. The kid’s dad and I just looked at each other and shrugged. Off in the corner, Sprout played with her dolls, either unaffected or decidedly ignoring the rambunctiousness of brother.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Not Funny
It's time for my sabbatical to end. I didn't plan on taking such an extended leave of absence from the blog, but after the craziness and chaos of the year I found that once I shut off my brain it was hard to turn it back on. Thus began the longest break I've taken since this thing began. To be honest, it felt good to check out for a while. I've made no secret of the extensive amount of traveling I did in 2011, which all in all amounted to 2½ months combined. It was important to me that I spend the holidays re-connecting with my family. And while my time off was filled with laughter, bonding and a metric ton of presents, the unimaginable happened.
WonderWife™ always says that marriage is a repeat. After 11 years together, she's heard my schtick many times over. Even my A material causes groans and eye rolls from her. (Though let's be honest, my A material is really at best a B.) So am forced to endure her scorn, criticism or just plain apathy at my attempts at humor. But that was okay because there was my son, my clone, who had an appreciation for his corny dad.
Perhaps it was all of the time he spent with me during my time off or maybe it was the highs and lows of the dual adrenaline rushes of Hanukkah and his birthday that led him to this moment, but somewhere during the end of the year the Bean grew weary of my humor.
During a phone conversation I made some joke. It doesn’t really matter what it was, just know that it was of the cheesy variety and squarely aimed at his 6 year old sensibility. But upon hearing it the Bean paused and said, “That’s not funny, Dad.”
And that was it. My son now joins my wife, my friends and my co-workers in the list of people who endure, but don’t enjoy, my bad jokes.
Sigh.
At least there’s still the girl.
WonderWife™ always says that marriage is a repeat. After 11 years together, she's heard my schtick many times over. Even my A material causes groans and eye rolls from her. (Though let's be honest, my A material is really at best a B.) So am forced to endure her scorn, criticism or just plain apathy at my attempts at humor. But that was okay because there was my son, my clone, who had an appreciation for his corny dad.
Perhaps it was all of the time he spent with me during my time off or maybe it was the highs and lows of the dual adrenaline rushes of Hanukkah and his birthday that led him to this moment, but somewhere during the end of the year the Bean grew weary of my humor.
During a phone conversation I made some joke. It doesn’t really matter what it was, just know that it was of the cheesy variety and squarely aimed at his 6 year old sensibility. But upon hearing it the Bean paused and said, “That’s not funny, Dad.”
And that was it. My son now joins my wife, my friends and my co-workers in the list of people who endure, but don’t enjoy, my bad jokes.
Sigh.
At least there’s still the girl.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Best of Daddy Geekdom 2011
The year winds down and the holidays barrel towards us. It's usually a time of reflection...and eggnog. Man do I love eggnog. And WonderWife™ has started making her own... Oh sorry. Got distracted.
2011 was a year with incredible ups and downs. On the positive side, my family is flourishing like WW™'s summer garden. Professionally, it was a year filled with great challenges and personal rewards. I spent more time in airplanes and hotels this year than the last three or four combined. It was a crazy time with a tremendous amount going on, but we all got through it unscathed.
Somehow I carved out time for blogging (though not as much as I would have liked). And as we prepare to put this year to bed, I thought I'd list a handful of my favorite posts from the 12 months that made up 2011.
I spent a lot of time this year trying to feed the Bean's inner geek--not always successfully.
I spoke my mind in a post that garnered some attention.
I ended up living with some unlikely new roommates.
I continued my battle with the worst arts and craft ever.
And I exposed my kids to one of the most whimsical authors of my childhood.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
2011 was a year with incredible ups and downs. On the positive side, my family is flourishing like WW™'s summer garden. Professionally, it was a year filled with great challenges and personal rewards. I spent more time in airplanes and hotels this year than the last three or four combined. It was a crazy time with a tremendous amount going on, but we all got through it unscathed.
Somehow I carved out time for blogging (though not as much as I would have liked). And as we prepare to put this year to bed, I thought I'd list a handful of my favorite posts from the 12 months that made up 2011.
I spent a lot of time this year trying to feed the Bean's inner geek--not always successfully.
I spoke my mind in a post that garnered some attention.
I ended up living with some unlikely new roommates.
I continued my battle with the worst arts and craft ever.
And I exposed my kids to one of the most whimsical authors of my childhood.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Wit and Wisdom of Sprout: Volume 3
Sprout doesn't talk nearly as much as her brother (who pretty much doesn't stop yapping unless he's sleeping or watching Phineas & Ferb), but that doesn't mean she lacks wisdom. Check out these nuggets of goodness:
Sprout: "You made my sauce touch my chicken."
WonderWife™: " Mommy’s not perfect."
Sprout: "Ashley’s mom is." (8/11)
"I’m washing the car soapilly!" (9/11)
Sprout to WonderWife™: "Why can’t you read me a story?"
WW™: "Because I’m going to lay on the couch and do nothing while Daddy reads you a story."
Sprout (bursting into tears): "I want to do nothing too!" (9/11)
The Bean: "This rice tastes like poo."
Sprout: "Winnie the Pooh or just poo?" (11/11)
"Can you help me find Black Bear? He’s black and he’s a bear, Mom!" (11/11)
“Tonight I’m going to sleep with my eyes closed.” (11/11)
“Is smiling laughing without making any sound?” (12/11)
(Holding hand up to her granny's): "Granny, your hand is as old as Bean is." [5] (12/11)
Past Wisdom
Volume 1
Volume 2
Sprout: "You made my sauce touch my chicken."
WonderWife™: " Mommy’s not perfect."
Sprout: "Ashley’s mom is." (8/11)
"I’m washing the car soapilly!" (9/11)
Sprout to WonderWife™: "Why can’t you read me a story?"
WW™: "Because I’m going to lay on the couch and do nothing while Daddy reads you a story."
Sprout (bursting into tears): "I want to do nothing too!" (9/11)
The Bean: "This rice tastes like poo."
Sprout: "Winnie the Pooh or just poo?" (11/11)
"Can you help me find Black Bear? He’s black and he’s a bear, Mom!" (11/11)
“Tonight I’m going to sleep with my eyes closed.” (11/11)
“Is smiling laughing without making any sound?” (12/11)
(Holding hand up to her granny's): "Granny, your hand is as old as Bean is." [5] (12/11)
Past Wisdom
Volume 1
Volume 2
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Traveling Again
Although the trip had been planned for many months, the kids only found out about it a few days ago. Time moves slowly when you’re a kid and weeks can feel endless. Not telling them was an act of mercy.
They found out three days before the trip was to commence and they immediately started to pack their bags, trying to cram as many of their toys and stuffed animals as their small backpacks would carry. They spent the next few hours debating which items would be the most essential on the long flight.
I sat back and gleefully watched them scurry around, flush with the adrenaline rush that comes with being told you’re about to go to Disney World. Inside I was as excited as they were.
The night before the trip I packed my bag, unable to shake the feeling that I was forgetting something, that my routine had been shaken. I had traveled many, many times during the year and the trips had become rote, carrying the same bags to the same airport and arriving at the same destination. But this trip was different. This trip was a vacation—the only one I was taking all year…to a magical place…with the people that I love.
In a few days I would be riding roller coasters with the Bean and boats with Sprout. We would be shaking hands with over-sized rodents and smiling at princesses. We would be having the time of our lives.
They found out three days before the trip was to commence and they immediately started to pack their bags, trying to cram as many of their toys and stuffed animals as their small backpacks would carry. They spent the next few hours debating which items would be the most essential on the long flight.
I sat back and gleefully watched them scurry around, flush with the adrenaline rush that comes with being told you’re about to go to Disney World. Inside I was as excited as they were.
The night before the trip I packed my bag, unable to shake the feeling that I was forgetting something, that my routine had been shaken. I had traveled many, many times during the year and the trips had become rote, carrying the same bags to the same airport and arriving at the same destination. But this trip was different. This trip was a vacation—the only one I was taking all year…to a magical place…with the people that I love.
In a few days I would be riding roller coasters with the Bean and boats with Sprout. We would be shaking hands with over-sized rodents and smiling at princesses. We would be having the time of our lives.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
New Products: Canadian Edition
I used to write a lot about new food products. Not so much these days. In fact, the last time I wrote about something with the label “new” (my favorite label, followed closely by “limited edition”) was July 2010, and I got lambasted by my wife. Truthfully, there has seemingly been a lack of exciting new food products out there. Nothing worth writing about, at least. That was until I strolled into a Canadian branch of my beloved convenience store and found a few interesting items.
Let's start with this one:
Ketchup is not one of those flavors I seek when craving chips. Outside of fries, onion rings and the occasional burger, ketchup doesn't make many appearances in my food repertoire--let alone spicy ketchup. But far be it for me to resist a package of junk food that says "new" so I bought 'em and ate 'em. Thankfully the ketchup flavor wasn't overpowering, and they weren't that spicy, but I'll take a bbq potato chip over these any day.
The last package didn't say "new", but falls under the category of "if they don't sell it in your country, it's new to you." As with ketchup, pickle isn't a flavor I would associate with snack food. This was the first time I'd seen it in a Dorito. Normally Doritos all kind of taste the same, no mater what flavor. Unlike their cheesy cousins, the pickle Doritos did have the unique tangy taste of a pickle. Initially, this was startling. But after a handful, the flavor stared to grow on me and I nearly finished the bag.
Who knew there was such a snack food bounty hiding within my neighbors to the north? Nice snacks you have there, Canada.
Let's start with this one:
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my undisputed favorite candy of all time. I'm a sucker for peanut butter. So it was with great excitement that I spotted this bar. Notice the "limited edition" at the top? Unfortunately the bar has nothing on the cup, which has the perfect chocolate to peanut butter ratio. The bar is too heavy on chocolate, which was a bit waxy. As they say, close but no...something.
Ketchup is not one of those flavors I seek when craving chips. Outside of fries, onion rings and the occasional burger, ketchup doesn't make many appearances in my food repertoire--let alone spicy ketchup. But far be it for me to resist a package of junk food that says "new" so I bought 'em and ate 'em. Thankfully the ketchup flavor wasn't overpowering, and they weren't that spicy, but I'll take a bbq potato chip over these any day.
The last package didn't say "new", but falls under the category of "if they don't sell it in your country, it's new to you." As with ketchup, pickle isn't a flavor I would associate with snack food. This was the first time I'd seen it in a Dorito. Normally Doritos all kind of taste the same, no mater what flavor. Unlike their cheesy cousins, the pickle Doritos did have the unique tangy taste of a pickle. Initially, this was startling. But after a handful, the flavor stared to grow on me and I nearly finished the bag.
Who knew there was such a snack food bounty hiding within my neighbors to the north? Nice snacks you have there, Canada.
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